I tried something new today. I took this contemporary dance class because I have always dreamed in another life I could be a dancer like the ones I mindlessly watch on my instagram feed. And honestly, this video proves that to a dancer, and probably even a non dancer, I'm maybe mediocre. Surprisingly though, for someone like me with a harsh self view it doesn't even matter. I tried something that scared me a bit and made me feel out of place at first, but I did something that lit me up. I forgot what it was like to do something for no other reason than because you love it. I forgot what it was like to have a passion that was healthy, and fueling, and self loving.
Recently I've had people ask me things like "what's it like to not to do what you are passionate about anymore?" or "How are you gonna find something you were as passionate about like you were passionate about gymnastics?" And that saying that says "there is no such thing as stupid questions" is just not relevant here because these questions my friends... are stupid. The world is too vast to only have one passion your whole life. Gymnastics was and , still is in a different way now, a long time passion of mine. However, when it ended it wasn't like the passion portion of my heart shut down for good. In fact I think it got bigger. I think it felt free to indulge in the other things that make me blissfully happy.
So, my fellow gymnasts, athletes, retired athletes, friends of all ages please if you read nothing else READ THIS: Your ability to be passionate never ends. The list of things to be passionate about never runs out. Your life is never over because you feel like a door has shut on your great love in this world. This is just not true and you know what else? This so called great love of yours might have not even been the passion you will love the most in this lifetime. Yes, that's right read that again. I'm telling you that you might find a passion that lights you up more than the one you're leaving behind. The thing is, purpose without passion is pointless and your life without passion doesn't allow you to be who you were meant to be.
After tonight I've realized how important it might be for us to check what we claim to be our greatest passion every now and then. Is it healthy? Does it make you happy? Who are you doing it for? Why are you doing it? If the answers to these questions don't sit with you right then see what you can do to either look at it through a different lens or hell, broaden your horizons a bit. Check to see if you really are doing something that is benefiting you and those around you. If you find something that makes you happier then please do that! Life is too short. Now, I'm not saying jump from thing to thing never finishing anything. A passion check might just be getting a new perspective and changing your "why" a bit. I often wonder how I could've ended my gymnastics career a little differently if I would've checked my passion. Don't get me wrong I have zero regrets and would do it all over again to the end, but how could I have removed the unhealthy parts and replaced it with more of the feelings I had tonight in this simple hour long class. I put all of my purpose into one basket, one thing, but the reality was that I had so much more passion to go around. And now, now I know. I know what I've been missing and it hurts my heart to know that you might be missing it too. So take a minute, assess your passion because I promise you passion isn't something you can fake. You, yes you deserve to have a passion that makes you love this life and more importantly love yourself.